1am

In a world of darkness, how does one sleep?

I woke up at 1am to find myself dizzying with thoughts. Usually I can muster through and force sleep back onto myself. But not today. I reluctantly pulled myself out of bed and put on a pot of coffee.

My work emails were flooded with Zoom questions, accounts payables and “how to deal” with staff and finances during this COVID-19 crisis. This virus has decided it’s going to stay awhile, uninvited, pulling off its shoes and plopping itself on many of the world’s living room sofas. Rude.

I meticulously read through every email, replying when necessary. My colleague is apparently up too as he quickly replied back with the notion of “you realize it is your day off”. I laugh.

I am obsessed with work right now, almost panicked with how I will take care of my staff over the next several months. No wonder I can’t sleep. But I get a weird comfort knowing we are all in this together. Thirty emails later, and mulling over a few accounts I finally shut down.

My eyes are heavy but my brain is bursting with thoughts. I flip the light on in my art studio and pull out another canvas. I swiftly swipe paint over it, not my best, especially since it’s three in the morning, but it shifts my mind.

I paint and pray.

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