It has been many months since I’ve posted and I plan to change my URL eventually.
Where has this year gone? I feel a sense of disbelief, a sense of longing and sense of accomplishment. After quitting my job as an Administrator, because I DESPISED working from home and my love for managing staff was ripped from my soul as layoffs swallowed my all too little staff.
I think fate arrived at my doorstep knowing the pain and loss I was experiencing and offered me a lead position with a need for direction. I have never been so humbled.
Four weeks in and I’m finally feeling at home. With the vacant holidays, my mind has been wandering to increase the joy in others through my talents and quirky ways of art.
I’m not a believer of New Year’s resolutions, but I will say 2021 I have a list longer than the days. It is my goal to brighten this dim world, one person at a time.
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
1 Corinthians 9:25
I wish life would quit petting my peeves.
The little annoyances that get me worked up in my day so much, I have to pray to Jesus to ask for control of my thoughts and my mouth!
And all of the childhood reminders of what my mother and granny would say to me, come dancing into my head during these peeve petting moments.
“Be careful little mouth what you say”
“If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all”
”Watch your tongue”
Let me say this, I say! Alone I am not, with all of the little peeve petters I’m sure of. Here are some of the pet peeves that drive me bonkers. Laugh if you must! I’m sure we could compare notes.
1. When my dog continuously licks her chops when I’m trying to fall asleep
2. When I’m driving well over the speed limit and have someone whizz by me only to slam on their brakes to turn in front of me. Really? Was that necessary?
3. Continuous interruptions of low priorities when I’m trying to concentrate.
4. When I set my coffee cup down and I can’t remember where it is.
5. When men stare at me at the store and try to strike up small talk and I don’t want to talk and they never seem to get the hint and all I want to do is smack them up the side of the head and tell them to hush their mouths. (My girlfriend would tell me those thoughts are called movie moments).
6. When I write myself a note only to refer to it later and have no idea what it means.
7. When I am unable to locate the note I have written myself to remind me of something later.
8. When I get home from the store only to realize I forgot the most important thing on my list. Or when I get to the store and realize I have forgotten my list.
9. When I’m in my office and the deer look in my window when I least expect it. It’s like having my own little personal stalkers.
10. When I faithfully wear my mask in public due to this pandemic and the public looks at me like I’m from another planet.
And to think these are just a small handful.
I think Jesus really tests my patience. What are your pet peeves? Just like 1 Corinthians 9:25, we are competing for a crown that will last forever. And I deep breathe and hush my mouth. I smile and show kindness, gosh darn it even in the most difficult times. And there are times when I am guilty of losing it. I am human and I am sometimes truly tired and truly cranky and the steamroller kicks in.
Then as I sit and pout or fume, Jesus somehow, in someway, puts his hand on my shoulder and all I can say is, “I know, I know.”
The strangest thing happened to me the other night. I woke up around midnight and I was unbelievably hungry. I was not going to allow my body to tell me what to do in the middle of the night, especially telling me to eat, THAT’S for sure! I knew if I got up and ate something I feared it would become a habit. Rather than eat, I opened the fridge and took a few large swigs of almond milk.
The strangest thing happened though. When I crawled back into bed, I couldn’t fall back to sleep. At least I didn’t think I could. Next thing I know, I’m watching myself hugging Jesus! I am not kidding. I knew it was Him. It felt like a very brief moment. It didn’t appear I was dreaming, but I had to be, because I remember lying in bed thinking to myself, “I want to meet You!”
Never in my life have I ever experienced that. I don’t know what it meant or why it happened. But now I cannot get it out of my mind! Is it just a reminder that things will be okay? Or?
I have had so much on my mind lately. Maybe it is a reminder I’m not alone? I have been very aware of many things lately as well. Little things, such as yesterday I was adding fresh water to the sunflowers I had purchased and rearranging them. I was removing some of the flowers and as I did, some of the petals were falling off. At that moment I thought, “it is sad how something so beautiful comes to an end.” I am caught up in awareness of little moments like this.
Our lives are filled with many beautiful things. But sometimes the daily stressors take over. Don’t allow this to happen! Take note of the little things in life. Enjoy the sunrise, the flowers, waves crashing and the buzz of bumblebees. Enjoy the blue skies and don’t forget to hug Jesus!
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
I am guilty of consistently rushing around on a daily basis. It never ends, from the time I wake around 3:00 a.m. to the time I fall asleep about 9:00 p.m.
I never rest. If I’m not working, whether it is at home or the office, my mind is always in a disarray of multiple races of various projects I want to work on next, dinner planning, work emails I need to reply to, and so much more. I am similar to a bumble bee, buzzing from flower to flower on the hunt for the next bit of sweetness.
About four weeks ago, I was getting ready to leave the house to head to the office. Realizing I left my water bottle on the counter, I ran back into the house as I was already late. As I rushed in, I hit my hand between my index and middle finger on the laundry room door handle. The pain just about dropped me to my knees. When I looked down at my hand, there was a large knot that had surfaced. By the time I arrived to the office, my hand was starting to bruise.
Three days later, again I was heading to the office and as I opened the garage door, I realized I had forgotten my water bottle. Again I ran into the house, and once more hit my hand in the exact same location! The pain riveted through me and I started to cry. My hand was already bruised, and despite the swelling that had subsided, it instantly came back.
A few days went by, and I helped my son bring a large box into his room. The same hand I hit several days prior, I caught it again on his bedroom’s door handle. This time I cursed. How was it possible to hit the same hand three times in a row?
The next morning I woke up to pain not only in my hand, but my wrist as well. When I tried to pour myself a cup of coffee, I practically dropped the whole pot as pain shot through my hand.
The following week I seen my physician and she ordered an X-ray. She also suggested bubble wrapping the door handles. She can be so snarky. The results were negative, thank goodness. She wrapped my hand, and referred me to an orthopedic doctor. Although it wasn’t broken, I had damaged the ligaments and he taped my fingers up to stabilized them.
I thought to myself, I really need to slow down and quit rushing around. Honestly there is no need for it. In the Bible, Jesus says, “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.” Luke 12:22
A couple of days ago, working from home, I finished up the afternoon and headed to the store for a few groceries. I had also treated myself with a few large bouquets of flowers. I just wanted to get home, prepare dinner and then ask my mother if she would want to go to Michael’s. She had told me they were open again. Of course I didn’t need any art supplies but I hadn’t been to a retail store in what felt like, forever!
I had quickly kicked off my shoes in the bathroom and on my way out, now barefoot, I kicked the bathroom scale. HARD. I had broken my toe. I hopped around on one foot holding my toe, eyes watering and believe it or not, I started to laugh. Despite the pain, I couldn’t help but laugh.
I was quickly reminded about Jesus saying not to worry about life. Here I was again, rushing to the store because I was worried about preparing dinner just so I could go to the craft store.
Later in the evening, I sat in my studio chair with my fingers taped and my toes taped, viewing my bouquet of flowers and sipping wine. I started to cry and I had given in. I thanked Jesus for the flowers. Acknowledging my consistent worry and vulnerability of injury, maybe this was His way of telling me to slow down.
Why do I rush around and worry about the next given moment? Why do I rush around and worry about arriving late to the office, what I will be cooking for dinner or running back into the house for my water bottle? When we worry and rush, we can cause more harm than good, and we are missing so much more Jesus has to offer us! We can easily overlook moments we will never have a chance to experience again.
Slow down, enjoy life! Sometimes we simply need to be reminded of this.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, I am strong.
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.
Song of Songs 4:7
In November of last year, my daughter moved out. She is my baby and it was the hardest moment a mother could ever endure. Although I have worried and protected her, her whole life, the time came when worry was the only thing left for me to do.
Trying not to be overly motherly, my only request was that she texted me at least once a week so I knew she was alive. She was moving to the big city and I cringed at the thought of, well….EVERYTHING!
I am proud of her. She was offered a good job, one that would potentially grow and her talents will flourish.
Then one night she texted me. She was upset because things weren’t working out with her roommates. I had never lived with roommates, therefore I didn’t know what she was going through.
Rather than vomit all of the thoughts and fears I initially had of this big move, I just encouraged her to be strong, not to make any harsh decisions and told her how proud I was of her.
Although she is still living with her roommates and it is not the best situation for her, she continues to persevere.
Then she brought a puppy home.
I told my husband that was the last thing she needed. Something that will cost her money, that will be a lot of work, and I hope she is prepared for this.
Then she sent me a picture. Oh my goodness! That poor little pup was not the prettiest….putting it lightly. Poor thing has oversized ears and brindle in color with stripes and patches going every which way. His name is Bear but honestly looks more like a dingo than a bear. A face only a mother could love.
Bear is actually a blessing in disguise. He has brought my daughter more comfort in these unpredictable times and they are inseparable.
I felt ashamed for thinking this pup wouldn’t bring joy to her life. She sends pictures of him to me and the radar sized ears are kind of growing on me. I just had to draw him which I’m afraid made him uglier than ever. But Bear makes her happy and this is all I could ask for.
Sometimes we are quick to judge the choices others make in their lives. I know I am guilty of this. However sometimes those decisions create a path that open other opportunities. It is those opportunities that bring us the most joy.
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
I am thankful for a creative mind. Lately my mind is overwhelmed and burdened by many things, especially work.
In fact, I pray so much about it, I’m sure God wonders why this is a repetitive issue with me. Not only do I turn to Him, I turn to my art because I figure with both, I can conquer my messy mind and I won’t have the need to think of anything burdensome, therefore I can rest.
The world sits heavy on my shoulders, as does my commute, daily challenges, and so much more. I’ve been in this situation before and I wonder why I’m never satisfied. I pray about this too!
I don’t believe I have received an answer as of yet, but that doesn’t stop me from asking or listening! I am sure it will become clear from Him. When in doubt never give up praying and listening! He will answer you in His time.
In the meantime, I keep myself busy with creative eyes with new projects, ideas, and ways to settle my uneasiness I have been feeling as of late.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
I am mourning the death of my youth.
There is nothing like a spoonful….um…pint full of Double Chocolate Brownie Truffle cashew milk ice cream during a bad day.
I can’t say my day went horribly wrong, but lately my frustrations appear to be beyond my control. Maybe it is the adjustment of staff at my work during this pandemic and I am absorbing more responsibilities, or maybe it is because my regular routine has been disrupted.
Or it could very well be the wretched heat waves I have been experiencing of what my Doctor blatantly stated, “Robin, I hate to say it, but welcome to the sisterhood of aging. You are peri menopausal.” I fell out of chair.
I gasped. “You…take…that…back. Take it back!” I was distraught. She laughed. “I’m sorry there is no avoiding this one!”
If she would have slapped me across the face with a latex glove and told me to snap out of it – it would have been easier to take.
But this….I went in to have my hand examined and I leave with one foot in the grave and a pamphlet on discounted plots. This marks the idea that my precious life is 3/4 of the way over. Hypothetically speaking of course, if I were only to live until my eighties.
I cried later in the shower. Just me and my tears. If I would have looked up to pray, I’m sure I would have drown.
But it’s times like these, no matter the circumstances or unexpected news flashes, a big spoonful of prayer and a pint of Double Chocolate Brownie Truffle cashew milk ice cream will ease the pain and calm the mind.
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.
2 Corinthians 16:13
Change has been shifting the lives of us here on earth, and many of us are unsure of what the future holds.
As with myself, everyday I am reminded of change happening. Once I have learned to quickly, yet reluctantly adapt to the changes set before me, those changes swiftly shift again, and I am grasping for balance. Similar to waves crashing at my feet and the sands quickly move beneath me.
What I have learned amongst these rapid changes, is I must have faith; faith in myself, the choices I make, faith in others, and faith in God. If I don’t have faith to stand strong and trust in Him, I have nothing.
There is a nest in one of our pine trees that belongs to a Robin bird. I have been carefully monitoring this nest for over a week now. About a week ago, I peered in to find two of the three eggs with tiny puncture holes. The babies were on their way. A couple of days later I peered in again and to my surprise, not much had changed. The same holes had not grown any larger. As worry overwhelmed me that something may have been wrong, I was reminded to have faith in these little birds to have the strength to break free from their confined little compartments.
A few days later I was out in the yard and I could hear their tiny voices chirping for their mama. Overwhelmed by joy, a large smile came over my face. I knew they could do it!