It has been many months since I’ve posted and I plan to change my URL eventually.
Where has this year gone? I feel a sense of disbelief, a sense of longing and sense of accomplishment. After quitting my job as an Administrator, because I DESPISED working from home and my love for managing staff was ripped from my soul as layoffs swallowed my all too little staff.
I think fate arrived at my doorstep knowing the pain and loss I was experiencing and offered me a lead position with a need for direction. I have never been so humbled.
Four weeks in and I’m finally feeling at home. With the vacant holidays, my mind has been wandering to increase the joy in others through my talents and quirky ways of art.
I’m not a believer of New Year’s resolutions, but I will say 2021 I have a list longer than the days. It is my goal to brighten this dim world, one person at a time.
The strangest thing happened to me the other night. I woke up around midnight and I was unbelievably hungry. I was not going to allow my body to tell me what to do in the middle of the night, especially telling me to eat, THAT’S for sure! I knew if I got up and ate something I feared it would become a habit. Rather than eat, I opened the fridge and took a few large swigs of almond milk.
The strangest thing happened though. When I crawled back into bed, I couldn’t fall back to sleep. At least I didn’t think I could. Next thing I know, I’m watching myself hugging Jesus! I am not kidding. I knew it was Him. It felt like a very brief moment. It didn’t appear I was dreaming, but I had to be, because I remember lying in bed thinking to myself, “I want to meet You!”
Never in my life have I ever experienced that. I don’t know what it meant or why it happened. But now I cannot get it out of my mind! Is it just a reminder that things will be okay? Or?
I have had so much on my mind lately. Maybe it is a reminder I’m not alone? I have been very aware of many things lately as well. Little things, such as yesterday I was adding fresh water to the sunflowers I had purchased and rearranging them. I was removing some of the flowers and as I did, some of the petals were falling off. At that moment I thought, “it is sad how something so beautiful comes to an end.” I am caught up in awareness of little moments like this.
Our lives are filled with many beautiful things. But sometimes the daily stressors take over. Don’t allow this to happen! Take note of the little things in life. Enjoy the sunrise, the flowers, waves crashing and the buzz of bumblebees. Enjoy the blue skies and don’t forget to hug Jesus!
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
I am guilty of consistently rushing around on a daily basis. It never ends, from the time I wake around 3:00 a.m. to the time I fall asleep about 9:00 p.m.
I never rest. If I’m not working, whether it is at home or the office, my mind is always in a disarray of multiple races of various projects I want to work on next, dinner planning, work emails I need to reply to, and so much more. I am similar to a bumble bee, buzzing from flower to flower on the hunt for the next bit of sweetness.
About four weeks ago, I was getting ready to leave the house to head to the office. Realizing I left my water bottle on the counter, I ran back into the house as I was already late. As I rushed in, I hit my hand between my index and middle finger on the laundry room door handle. The pain just about dropped me to my knees. When I looked down at my hand, there was a large knot that had surfaced. By the time I arrived to the office, my hand was starting to bruise.
Three days later, again I was heading to the office and as I opened the garage door, I realized I had forgotten my water bottle. Again I ran into the house, and once more hit my hand in the exact same location! The pain riveted through me and I started to cry. My hand was already bruised, and despite the swelling that had subsided, it instantly came back.
A few days went by, and I helped my son bring a large box into his room. The same hand I hit several days prior, I caught it again on his bedroom’s door handle. This time I cursed. How was it possible to hit the same hand three times in a row?
The next morning I woke up to pain not only in my hand, but my wrist as well. When I tried to pour myself a cup of coffee, I practically dropped the whole pot as pain shot through my hand.
The following week I seen my physician and she ordered an X-ray. She also suggested bubble wrapping the door handles. She can be so snarky. The results were negative, thank goodness. She wrapped my hand, and referred me to an orthopedic doctor. Although it wasn’t broken, I had damaged the ligaments and he taped my fingers up to stabilized them.
I thought to myself, I really need to slow down and quit rushing around. Honestly there is no need for it. In the Bible, Jesus says, “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.” Luke 12:22
A couple of days ago, working from home, I finished up the afternoon and headed to the store for a few groceries. I had also treated myself with a few large bouquets of flowers. I just wanted to get home, prepare dinner and then ask my mother if she would want to go to Michael’s. She had told me they were open again. Of course I didn’t need any art supplies but I hadn’t been to a retail store in what felt like, forever!
I had quickly kicked off my shoes in the bathroom and on my way out, now barefoot, I kicked the bathroom scale. HARD. I had broken my toe. I hopped around on one foot holding my toe, eyes watering and believe it or not, I started to laugh. Despite the pain, I couldn’t help but laugh.
I was quickly reminded about Jesus saying not to worry about life. Here I was again, rushing to the store because I was worried about preparing dinner just so I could go to the craft store.
Later in the evening, I sat in my studio chair with my fingers taped and my toes taped, viewing my bouquet of flowers and sipping wine. I started to cry and I had given in. I thanked Jesus for the flowers. Acknowledging my consistent worry and vulnerability of injury, maybe this was His way of telling me to slow down.
Why do I rush around and worry about the next given moment? Why do I rush around and worry about arriving late to the office, what I will be cooking for dinner or running back into the house for my water bottle? When we worry and rush, we can cause more harm than good, and we are missing so much more Jesus has to offer us! We can easily overlook moments we will never have a chance to experience again.
Slow down, enjoy life! Sometimes we simply need to be reminded of this.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, I am strong.
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.
Song of Songs 4:7
In November of last year, my daughter moved out. She is my baby and it was the hardest moment a mother could ever endure. Although I have worried and protected her, her whole life, the time came when worry was the only thing left for me to do.
Trying not to be overly motherly, my only request was that she texted me at least once a week so I knew she was alive. She was moving to the big city and I cringed at the thought of, well….EVERYTHING!
I am proud of her. She was offered a good job, one that would potentially grow and her talents will flourish.
Then one night she texted me. She was upset because things weren’t working out with her roommates. I had never lived with roommates, therefore I didn’t know what she was going through.
Rather than vomit all of the thoughts and fears I initially had of this big move, I just encouraged her to be strong, not to make any harsh decisions and told her how proud I was of her.
Although she is still living with her roommates and it is not the best situation for her, she continues to persevere.
Then she brought a puppy home.
I told my husband that was the last thing she needed. Something that will cost her money, that will be a lot of work, and I hope she is prepared for this.
Then she sent me a picture. Oh my goodness! That poor little pup was not the prettiest….putting it lightly. Poor thing has oversized ears and brindle in color with stripes and patches going every which way. His name is Bear but honestly looks more like a dingo than a bear. A face only a mother could love.
Bear is actually a blessing in disguise. He has brought my daughter more comfort in these unpredictable times and they are inseparable.
I felt ashamed for thinking this pup wouldn’t bring joy to her life. She sends pictures of him to me and the radar sized ears are kind of growing on me. I just had to draw him which I’m afraid made him uglier than ever. But Bear makes her happy and this is all I could ask for.
Sometimes we are quick to judge the choices others make in their lives. I know I am guilty of this. However sometimes those decisions create a path that open other opportunities. It is those opportunities that bring us the most joy.
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.
“Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come”
Song of Songs, 2:12
With the hate and confusion of multiple tragedies going on in the world, I turn to prayer and the beauty of my rhododendrons.
How could one not stop and enjoy the beauty of what God brings us and become one with our senses of sight and smell?
Right now, our rhododendrons are in full bloom. I love these flowers so much, our home is surrounded by them. I cannot even begin to tell you how much joy these flowers bring me. Right before they bloom, the anticipation is immense! Similar to a child the night before Christmas, I am consistently checking the blooms, patiently waiting for their tiny petals to open wide for the my enjoyment.
I once told a colleague I was a tree hugger. She laughed and I said I was serious. I told her I meticulously care for my trees and plants, cutting off any dead branches that may be robbing the plant of nutrients. I talk to my plants and tell them how beautiful they are. I thank God for their beauty. It may sound crazy, but I almost bet my plants and trees hear me! They are that beautiful, as though it makes them proud with my compliments.
Lately I am obsessed with trying to capture their beauty. It is good for my art practice, provides me with a form of meditation and peace while shutting out all of the negativity in the world. It captures a perfect moment of beauty that I can enjoy until they bloom again.
My colleague brought me an array of gorgeous spring flowers last week. I was struck by the kindness of this because it was completely unexpected.
As I was sitting in my office, she popped in and set the flowers on the desk. The conversation went like this:
I said to her, “oh pretty!”
“Those are for you!” She said.
“Wait, what? Why?” I had asked with surprise.
“Because you are so wonderful!” She replied.
“What? Why?” Again to my surprise, I called out to her as she walked to her office. She didn’t reply.
I yelled out so she could hear me, “THANK YOU!“
“YOU’RE WELCOME!” she called back.
A sweet gesture with no given reason. I hadn’t done anything special.
I brought my flowers home to enjoy them on my patio. I tried to capture the yellow pansies as the rain had come and gone so much that week, I had to draw them and bring the sunshine of those happy flowers indoors.
I hope there is someone in your life that brings sunshine to your day. We all need a dose of sunshine in our lives!
“God made all kinds of trees that grow out of the ground – trees that were pleasing to the eye” Genesis 2:9
Life is beautiful!
I’m struck by the beauty of Spring. The other evening, my husband took me to the local Home Depot to look at trees. I wanted a Japanese Maple to plant outside my art studio window. Another sanctuary I was hoping to create.
As we walked around, I saw a Dogwood. Oh the beauty of this tree! I couldn’t make up my mind now! We left Home Depot empty handed.
The next morning, over coffee, my husband said to me, “did you think about what tree you wanted?” I sat there a moment and then sheepishly said “both”. I knew the answer would be no. He never said anything, but changed the subject to some pavers he had seen.
We went back to Home Depot later that morning and he asked again what maple I wanted. Then he said to pick out a Dogwood, then he said he wanted an additional Dogwood!
I was so excited I could hardly contain myself! Three trees!
Last night I dug a hole for my maple. Earlier my husband had planted the other two. The maple was going to be much harder, as that side of the yard had been neglected. Once I start a project I don’t know when to quit! I had to pull at the least, 10 feet of weeds and prepare the ground. Needless to say, this 46 year old body is unbelievably sore this morning!
There is still much too do, but when I am finished, this will be our little have and the view from my studio will create a peace I have been eagerly waiting for. As it fills in and has new growth, I will be surround by God’s beauty as the birds will enjoy their new playground.
My husband and I walked the perimeter of Walmart last week, looking at the array of colorful plants. The only reason I agreed to go with him is we were going to look at plants. I’m not very fond of Walmart, and never have been.
He insisted we add some color to the yard, as we are filled with evergreens. I am not much on annuals or perennials, because they die so quickly after a short bloom. As we are walking through the garden center, I really started noticing the colors of flowers. They were a magnificent blend of brilliant colors, and those pale in color had intricate petals great and small. I was so intrigued, I took out my cell phone and starting taking pictures.
My husband just rolled his eyes.
When we arrived home, I scanned through my images and one particular one, stood out. So I decided to see if I could capture its beauty with my new 150 count Prismacolor pencils my husband recently purchased for me from Blick Art Materials. I was excited to start using them and this would be the perfect opportunity to truly see how I could capture their beauty.
How can something be so beautiful? God’s work amazes me, as we are surrounded by beauty no matter the season. “All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you” Song of Songs, 4:7. There are no flaws in these flowers, no dull colors. They perfectly hold their blooms high, stretching out of their pots, in hopes we will take notice. How could we not?
The gloom of the world today can weigh me down. But I have took note, with the flowers in bloom, the colors within my pencils, the pigment of the lead is pulled across the paper, I full heartily try to capture the essence of these flowers.